Sometimes I have those days where every breath is a chore cuz I just find myself not wanting to do it anymore. Just give up and die like a fly in a sider web. Sometimes I feel like I’ve been living life like a roach without a head. And its been six days and 23 hours, ready to jump off a roof of one of the tallest towers.
But it’s times like these we gotta sit back and compare, and stare at the lives of others that we don’t share. See how they live everyday grievously. It’s plain to see, that life isn’t that bad for you, you just need a healthy dose of reality.
Can’t believe I came up with that immediately after waking up this morning hah
With the half cocked eyes of an unenthusiastic boy, I used to stare at the world. Uninterested in all of the splendor life has to offer, I spent those years as nothing but a husk of flesh, hollowed out by a fascist regime designed to “enrich” my life. I’m free now. I found what was once beaten down, and it returns to claim its place. All weirdness, and hilarity seems to have returned. The goofyness, strangeness, not afraid to be that way, no reservations, its fantastic to feel another piece of me return. This dream is so great.
Don’t wake me.
Please.
The all over the place post
It’s these miles and miles that I can’t stand. Do you get it? Can you fathom or even begin to understand? There are so many places to go, to visit, to take in. I find it trying, to be bound by something like money. What a trivial nuance, but what large binding force it is; money. I’ve got places and people to see, culture to absorb. I find it so much more enjoyable than the drab lack of culture in this place.
The spacious boundary between a soul linked so coincidentally to one such as mine. Like mind, like soul. It is astounding to me to find a person such as you. Guided by the hand of God; I feel. Some light shining on me for once. It felt good to see and know that he will not forget what I’ve done. The sacrifices that have been made. I know that he will bring about my time, showing appreciation for all I’ve given up for others.
It’s really nice to feel me again. I have missed you so much good friend, with your true goodness, I am not forced to wear my guise. Finally I feel genuine within myself, pulling out the me inside that was forced to hide for quite some time inside in order to abide by the expectations forced on my free spirit. I watched him come forth again with glee, and he hasn’t even departed. The time has been too extensive that a prolonged stay by my true self has blessed me with his presence. Please don’t leave again, because the weights I bear when you are here simply don’t feel
So heavy.
sorry liz
I haven’t really been in the writing mood. I’ve been quite busy as of late between working and chatting with this amazing girl I met in Utah. I’ll see if I can’t come up with something soon for Liz 
.
=O
A splendorous multi-faceted soul of unperturbed beauty projects rays of subjective clarity upon situations of utmost complexity, thereby dispelling a fog of disparity about the commotion within my internal cavity.
Aura
A radiant light emits,
this skin is a medium.
The aura is unfakeable;
projected with effort unfeasible.
Pour profusely now, into the air.
Feel the energy flowing outward;
expunged.
Around me.
Can you feel me?
Pour this spirit out unto the world, enriching, supporting those needing it.
Oftentimes feeling that it’s why I’m here, and I think it’s time to embrace what has been put onto me as my role.
I feel a comforting complacence,
knowing I can get them farther,
as I remain here.
The Guise
How can one, so joyful and full of life.
Appearing so normal, so fine.
Seem so jovial, and so ok.
Be not.
Ok.
How can it be that I am so unlike the way I appear to those around me? Why do I wear a happy facade while deep inside lurks an unexplainable depression that slowly corrodes my insides. No one understands, in person, on the outside, is that happy guy, but why can’t he be inside.
It’s discouraging to me, to know that inside, the plea, is for me, to be,
o.k.
Of Memories and Dreams
Watch the fan blades spin.
Feel the waves flow through.
Wicked testimonial,
of what you’ve been through.
To relive the past.
Defiling dreams.
Not lasting,
but denied.
The never ending circumstances,
to reduce the hope.
The star then beckons,
glimmers so sweet,
but soon to be snuffed again.
What does the night sky have to offer,
in all it’s beauty?
Out shined by the lights of man.
I can’t see the stars here anymore,
I can’t see them….
Here’s the poem I mentioned wayyy in the beginning that I needed to get out of the journal it was published in. Finally made it out to my moms to get it. 
Interesting pondering
Do we really every know who we are? or do we merely act. I wonder if people in general actually take time to pay attention and learn things about themselves.
If they don’t, how are they going to tell other people about themselves? They use the things around them to describe themselves, the things the like etc. Is that really what they are about though? Sure they like rock music, hiking, camping, etc. But telling someone things like that doesn’t really get things out like how big of a procrastinator they are or how insecure they are about themselves.
What a weird rambling !
