Quiet and serene things seem to be you see. A day like today, quiet and clean. No disturbance to be felt, far and wide, within this place that I abide. Moments like this seem to be a rarity during these times of calamity. So I like to take them in to the best of my ability, turning these fractions of space into a soliloquy. It makes me wish for younger days, when times like these were more readily available. Growing up is a pain and remains to drain my brain of energy that I wish I could retain so that perhaps I could regain some of my vigor.
oops
A swelling feeling of being worthless boils over like a pot on a stove. I screwed up. I’ve always been one to be hard on myself about things like this.
Failure.
I have felt such an extreme amount of stress and just horrible feelings in the last 24 hours.
Life is all waves though, and my insides are starting to settle down.
It’s been quite a long time since I have felt this way, so I guess I had it coming.
It’s always when things seemingly are going “too well” that life likes to give you a good kick in the side to make you remember that we are still human.
I need a hug.
I’m pining for you in a way that could only give view to whats going on inside. This distance isn’t fair for us to bear and I wish fate wasn’t as cruel as it likes to be. But alas, doesn’t distance make the heart grow fonder? That yearning that occurs when what you want is out of reach.
It sucks.
busy busy
It doesn’t seem to end right now. Between being full time in school, working 20 hours a week, donating plasma two times a week, and starting my new workout routine, I have just been so busy that I haven’t been able to get into a writing zone at all. So, I apologize to anyone who has been looking for something new. It’s on my list of things to get done, I just haven’t found time to be alone and just sit and ponder things.
Clouds and randomness
Today is one of those beautiful blue sky days.
The kind that makes the troubles on your mind fade.
Today is one of those spectacular cloud days.
The kind that makes you want to lay out side and die days.
It would be ok.
Because of the way the calm pulls itself over you, makes life for an instant…feel complete.
Stare out unfocused and watch them drift by, wishing every second that I could live that life.
And then at that moment when you feel it, when you feel the blessing of this day.
When you feel your gears slow down,
When you feel it all float away,
in that moment
you felt heaven for a split second.
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There are black boards and white boards..
Why don’t they have navy blue boards?
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Looking up at the sky brings me to ponder.
Toe wonder if there are others like me that walk staring up.
Marveling at the terrific blue hue spotted with white marshmallows.
Do they think what I’m thinking?
I hope everyone takes time to look.
I know lives are busy, but it’s more like they are busy wasting life.
Whats the point if you don’t enjoy the sky, the trees, the laughter, the pain, the fear, the friendships, or the love.
It’s an amazing world.
Enjoy it.
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Drifting off to another plane of consciousness
I get a feeling I enjoy.
I start to go through my archived memories.
Missing some times, loathing some times.
Paging through the past like scenes from a move.
But it’s not a move, it’s my life.
Even at this young age it seems a lifetime has passed.
A whole world of events already gone.
But not really gone.
Savor the moment
Take risks
Because that’s the only real way to make the most of what we have
It won’t kill you, so why not?
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Decided to make it all one post. Wrote out that stuff while walking to class and during class today.
quote day
I found a really awesome quote today that just hit home. Hope you like it like I did.
From the comic A Softer World:
“I was going to figure out the postage and send you my heart for Christmas, but my friends talked me out of it. They said ‘Why would you send her something broken?’”
spectacular
Remembrance
Walking down the street tonight with the moon so bright
Onward past the street lights I remember a time of old
where this beautiful soul was crushed cold by the smothering touch of the one he used to hold
Black and bruised feeling broken and used,
abused and confused inside the turmoil this time
beyond compare, just sit and stare
the wonder and amazement and the fracturing display meant that I guess it hurts from time to time
but thats fine
It’s ok to rewind and find inside the things that you like to hide
It’s just so much easier to be blind to your insides
We’re Waiting
They wait now for the perfect time and scene
Mark off the days on the calendar till we can
Kill this endless interim
The moment is coming dear
Like each second ticking by waiting for a sunrise
the anticipation grows
while the soul grows weary
stick it out
stick it out now because in the end it will be worth it
the breaking of dawn comes soon
and the sun will drown us in its glow
storm
A calming sense of serenity surrounds me as I slip slowly into the void. Broken suddenly by an explosion of white light followed by the rolling reports of thunder.